Mental Health Awareness Month: 5 Ways to Use Music for Grieving & Grounding
The act of grieving and grounding- it is truly an artform. There is no one right way to do it. It may not seem appealing to all- sometimes not even to its creator. But it is a layered, emotional, ever-changing form of expression and feeling. One that we are all on a life-long journey of practicing. While practicing, remind yourself that it is okay for these artforms to feel uncomfortable or wrong. The joy and peace may feel tainted, and the anger and sadness may feel beautiful. The goal of grieving and grounding is not necessarily to feel “better,” but to feel. To connect with yourself, or maybe even others, in ways that feel supportive.
That’s where music can play a role. Music is an intrinsic coping resource. It can create a sense of safety, while simultaneously accessing deeply intimate parts of ourselves that are otherwise difficult to articulate or hold. Below you will find five different offerings of how to use music to support grief and grounding. Please note that everyone’s relationship with music is different- everyone’s relationship with grief is different. Not all of these suggestions may be right for you, or if it is, maybe just not in this particular moment. Healing and emoting is not linear- sometimes it plateaus, sometimes it loops. Do what you can to tend to yourself in the present moment. Keep reaching out, and keep doing what feels good and supportive to you and your body.
1.Community Music Making
In times of grief, connecting with community can be so important. However, sometimes there is nothing left to verbally say. Expressing through music can be an incredibly intimate way to share those vulnerable feelings without saying them outright. It can be a way to still be around and connect with others without as much of the social/emotional tax. It can be a way to be able to support each other, when you have nothing left to give, by letting the music you create do the holding.
2.Breathing to Music
Deep breathing is magical. It can be supportive in releasing tension in our bodies. The flow and rhythm of the beat can stimulate slower and gentler breathing, with the music taking form as a protective container. Let the goal not be to “make me feel better and relaxed,” but rather to ground your system to a more regulated state of being.
3.Singing Along
Singing along may sound so simple, but it can be truly powerful when processing heavy emotions. It can help you feel more connected to the lyrics as they come from your own voice. It can help you process the meaning of the songs more fully. For the moments you want to just scream, it can be an outlet for just that. Your voice is powerful, and in music it can be everything you need it to be.
4.Moving Along
Moving our bodies can help in releasing stress- both physical and emotional- from the body. This may be dancing, yoga, or any other movement that feels authentic and appropriate to you. Movements may be guided by the type of music you listen to, influencing expressions of calm, anger, empowerment, etc.
5.Song Writing
Writing lyrics can have the same benefits of journaling. When the thoughts begin to spiral, filter them onto the page to process and potentially organize what you are feeling. Let this song be your anthem, your cry, your letter to yourself or to others. This song is yours.
You can also write non-lyrical music. Sit down at a piano, drum, Garageband, etc. and let the emotions sing out through the instruments, when the words are not enough.
You do not have to be a professional musician to use music as a support. You do not have to have previous music experience to use music as a support. You do not have to have instruments to use music as a support (anything can be an instrument). There is no one right way to use, play, or experience music. It is a vulnerable thing that is all your own to engage with as you like.
If you need additional support, please reach out to us at inquiry@melodymt.com. If you are in need of immediate support, please reach out to one of the resources below:
Crisis line: 988 or 988lifeline.org (options available: call, text, chat, and ASL videophone)
The Trevor Project (for LGBTQ youth): 866-488-7386
Stronghearts Native Helpline: 844-762-8483
Grassroots Crisis Intervention: 410-531-6677
The Steve Fund: text STEVE to 741741
Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860
Crisis text line: text HOME to 741741
Call Blackline 1-800-604-5841
LGBT National Help Center: 1-888-843-4564
Wildflower Alliance: 1-888-407-4515
-Mikaila Vieyra, LPMT, MT-BC
Identity of the author*: white, neurodivergent, queer, cis-woman.
*Why do we include this? Intersectionality is the way that the various identities we hold (race, gender, sexual orientation, dis/ability, etc.) impacts the way that we experience and perceive the world. How/what we take in from the world impacts how/what we put into the world. Though we are committed to consistently engaging in reflexive practices to explore our explicit/implicit biases, we share the identity to be transparent on what perspective this blog post is coming from.